Rhapsodize Chaos
by Rhapsodize Chaos
Summary: Miroku calmly losing his mind. A story written in a stream of consciousness


**Chaos Corner: **Randomly Getting back to this.

Chapter 1

Times do change, and it forces all creatures to move forward. We had somewhat won the war. The Shikon Jewel was in our possession but Naraku somehow manage to survive and live on. That demon continues to taunt us with his silence, we were fearful not knowing when he would rise again. For months we fought over what we should do. In the end we opted to allow Inuyasha to eradicate his mortal blood. He lost himself— his humanity dead with the rise of power. With her potential lover now too far from her grasp the young maiden Kagome returned to her own time—she'd completed her job anyway. The young fox kit began to grow into himself and he could no longer live in ignorant bliss of childhood. He will live long and strong his pure demon blood giving him great clout. I, however, remain with the demon slayer, Sango.

Even now as we entwine as one, I cannot say I feel fully complete. I know this moment is fleet. With both hands I follow the curves of her side, her skin is so smooth. I make sure to appreciate every moment I'm blessed enough to touch her. I hold on tighter to her as she rides me. She begins to reach her peak. She's breathing heavy now and the way she whimpers a mixture of cuss words and my name is overwhelming. Finally she can't take anymore has her eyes roll to the back of her head. She screams her release. Her body tightens around me. It takes everything in me not to follow suit as a recite scriptures in a desperate hope to remain distracted.

She's gasping for air as her body relaxes. She remains attached to me and sometimes I wonder if we are strong enough to be apart from each other. I move to sit causing her to slide down my shaft a little. With that she moans. Sango's sexual desires are never fully quench and I know Buddha made her exactly for me. She leans her forehead to mine as she fixes herself to sit on me fully. Her eyes are close, her lips slightly parted and I can't help but stare as she licks her upper lip. Involuntarily I shiver. I close my eyes, even her most innocent actions temp me. I concentrate solely on the woman before me. I can hear our hearts beating wildly against each other. Her breath crashes over my flush skin burning the flesh from the bones. I swear if I concentrate hard enough I can hear the rushing of her blood through her veins. I move to run my hands through the land that is her body when the sudden clinking of the prayer beads shatter my concentration. I am still a cursed being.

Oh, how I just want to yell, scream, and shout at the unfairness of it all. Yes I understand I am but a man—a traveling monk. I know I am not meant to hold on to material things but I cannot find peace in ever letting this woman go. Without thought I find myself holding on to her tightly. I refuse to let her go. She gasps in pain has she murmurs my name. I can't let her go. Instead of trying to force me to lax she wraps her arms around me. This moment isn't soft and loving as I flex, making sure that faith knows I will not be letting Sango go. The serious message of this moment seems to lay on her shoulders too as the tips of her nails digs into my side. I'm addicted to this woman.

It takes a moment for me to hear her as she begins to whispers sweet words into the air. What beautiful lies she tells about eternity and love that last forever. It's messed up how close our end is so to us. I allow the tension to resolve but I must move before it can claim us. I leave behind every teaching of Buddha as I steal every ounce of breath from her lungs. I don't ask permission for entrance as I spear my tongue into its second home. I'm a sadistic man as I even go back for revenge and bite down on the lips that dare held resistance to my entry. I mar the skin I find myself so addicted to.

Sango is a powerful woman, she'd never fall and submit to hair tugging and bruising kisses; hell she barley stumbles in war. I do not understand if her will is so strong or her physical strength is impenetrable but even when I dominate her body—by pilfering her breath and substituting it with my stank or when I thrust deep into her womb ruining her for all other men—that she's able to bounce back, no recuperation needed. I want to infiltrate every part of your; mind, body, and soul. I do not lay her gently like a lover. When we are in moments like this I wonder if we even recall that we are friends. I watch as her body bounces back up from the force of the fall. She doesn't look at me with anger or distain. Instead her eyes narrow sensually and she gives me a look that temps me to try and rule over her. She lay her arms open for me. She does not rush me to go faster. She doesn't pull me closer to embrace her. Sango is calculative and patient, she waits for me to make a move so that she can counter it. I roll my hips, her inside is warm, wet, and restrictive. She tightens her legs around my waist. I watch myself slowly sinking in disappearing in her body. I watch myself a couple of times highly captivated by the way her body accommodates my intrusion. She moans into me as leans up and thrust back. We lock eyes and she nods, she's along for any ride. I know I love this woman—I'm still sort of empty. I lean in and we kiss. Her hands explore my body. There is nothing missing however I do not feel full. They say that only beast and creatures rut but what we are doing now I can only call rutting.

There is no rhythm to our dance. We are just going as hard and as fast as we can. Our bodies become drench in sweat and we have to claw at each other to remain connected. Sango orgasms hard. Her body goes ridged as she pulls my hair. I fall into her easing the tension on my scalp. I ride out her orgasm as her walls tighten painfully around me. I tongue around the junction between her shoulder and neck as I bury my member as deep as I can within her. I rotate my hips, I'll never leave here. I bite down hard as the weight in my balls lessens.

It takes a moment for me to fully relax and take control of my body. I ease my jaw as I begin to recognize the taste of copper in my mouth. Slowly I allow my body to relax. Reluctantly I pull myself out of her body. I lift her body slightly as I pull us both to our shared sleeping mat.

I lay with her. As the world of dreams pulls at me I watch as Sango's hazel eyes locks unto my own. I pull her closer to me. She smiles. I watch as she reaches out to me. A lazy finger traces over my chest. I try to do the same but the prayer beads on my wrist makes my movements jerky and unnatural. Instead I twirl a section of the beads between my fingers. I wonder, would Sango continue to love me as she does now, if she knew how close my end is coming.

Each day my cursed depletes me. It has been months since I've been forced to use the wind tunnel. Just four days ago I had to go to another monk to strengthen the beads. The wind tunnel now extends to more than the majority of my palm. At this rate I give myself less than five days before I am no more. I'm not afraid of that fact I've been prepared all my life for this to happen. I am torn on how I feel. Should I be pleased for the limited amount of happiness I was able to grasp with my love? Should I be livid at faith for giving me such a rotten hand? Honest truth is I am a selfish man. Even in any partial good deeds I accomplish in my life were done with alternative motives. I defend women so that can comfortably degrade them for their physical anatomy. Heck I wouldn't have perceive myself associating with demons and slayers before our ragtag group formed, and I only joined because I first viewed them as tools to achieve my goal of eradicating Naraku. Everything I've done I do for myself. Being with Sango feeds my male ego and I know as a monk I am trained to be at peace with all things. For me to let go of Sango with bring nothing but chaos. She may never complete me but without her there would be nothing left of me. I can't, I won't let you go.

Her eyes are closed. My mind is whirling. I don't think I'm thinking. I am watching my body move. I have no control of it. I'm shaking—physically, emotionally, and mentally. My tainted hand follows the flat of her stomach. I ghostly hover over the rolling peaks of her chest. With the tips of my fingers I dare to touch the column of her neck. I place my forefingers on the back of her neck. In her sleep she rolls closer to me and hums in delight. My thumb dips into the contours of her collar bone. She's beautiful. I can't explain what happen next but my hand tightens around her neck.

Her bright hazel eyes pop open and for a moment she seems shocks and does nothing. I tell myself to stop. I know there is no stopping this. I can't explain why. She'll think something is wrong. I can't make her leave. She will stay with me, so I hold on tighter. Suddenly she thrashing around. Her nails claw at me. She's gasping and screaming. I roll so I'm on top of her. I lean over and whisper how much I love her. I know I don't tell her this enough. I LOVE YOU SANGO. She reaches up scratching and marring me. I'm okay with that. I'll take everything you bestow upon me. I lay fully on her taking in her intoxicating scent. Suddenly she stops moving.

Still I can't relax my grip. I can't describe this moment other than a weird juxtaposition of rhapsodize chaos.

I feel empty. It's odd. I feel fully empty. I've never felt so completely incomplete. I push our lips together—she's still warm. I tilt her head as I slip my tongue into its proper home. The sound is light, angelic, and airy. I hear Sango murmur to me, "It's all going to be okay." I feel at peace with that. Slowly I lax my stiffen muscles from around her neck. The bruise is bold and ugly. That's okay. It's my way of branding myself on my love. Nothing can separate us.

I reach under the pillow where Sango lays her head pulling out a small dagger. A broken chuckle erupts from my hallow depth. Sango loves this blade, its historical value prodigious, but the way it makes her feel safe at night makes it truly valuable. I lay myself fully, cuddling up to her, laying my head on her chest as I do my best to absorb all the heat that seems to be leaving her body too quickly. "I love you Sango." I run the blade gently on her forearm but I make sure not to damage my lady. I wouldn't feel right if I was the one to ever make her bleed. "Sometimes I wish we had the opportunity to start a family." The vane dances over her abdominals. "I'm a greedy man and I don't think I could handle the idea of having to share you, even with a child." I can hear her hum in questioning. "I know I've always ask women to bare me a child, but those are women I hardly give a fuck about. I love you Sango. I could not share."

"It's all okay."

I could only nod my head. I know she's right. I am about to make this _all_ okay. I pull my darling into my lap. She's cold now. I'm an egoistic bastard I'm not willing to allow you to succumb to the elements. We are leaving this world on our terms. I slowly remove the prayer beads from my right hand. It's odd I never notice how dingy and worn down they have become over the years. The blue beads fall loudly. For some odd reason it actually startles me. I remove the cloth but keep my hand close. I'm a whole shade lighter than the rest of my shin underneath. I fix my love fully on my lap and cradle her head on my shoulder. In the lightest whimper I hear her give her consent, "Go right ahead." With both hands free I cut the skin below my wind scar. I kiss her brow.

"It's okay," I hear myself out loud. I open my hand and our home is instantly destroyed. The force of the tunnel cause my hand to buckle, but I opt to only hold on tighter to my demon slayer. The forest before us our neighbors beside us are no more. I hardly care. The wind tunnel expands. I hear the echoes of people screaming. The expansion of the tunnel reaches my wound and I can feel excruciating pain as the wind rips the cut open. It fucking hurts. The sounds of the screams alter and I hear her divine gratitude. I'm crying due to the pain. I'm bawling because I'm glad we'll remain one forever. I weep because you're happy. My arm is gone and you smile at me.

"I LOVE –"

"_I can't breathe__"_

_**-Eric Garner  
>(RIP)<br>**_

**Disclaimer** InuYasha ©2000 Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan - Yomiuri TV - Sunrise All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.


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